Dec 30, 2010

mahirap bang sagutin ang mga tanong sa Beauty Pageants?


naging ringtone ng bayan din ang tawa niya! haha

who could forget the infamous answer of then Binibining Pilipinas World 2008 winner Janina San Miguel to the question, "what role did your family play to you as candidate to Binibining Pilinas?" the video remains to be one of my guilty pleasures and although it is cringe worthy, walang panahong hindi ako napatawa nito. Simple lang ang tanong kung tutuusin kung kaya madami ang nagtaka kung bakit hindi niya nasagot ito ng tama. was it nerves? or was the noice too much for her to think clearly? ewan...

My friends and I attended a modeling pageant called Mr. and Ms. Fashionista to support this guy who is an ex of a friend(long story... but they could be back together as of this writing). Anyway, he showed strength at the start of the pageant but his lack of experience showed in the succeeding rounds. Needless to say, he didn't make it. watching the pageant made me realize that events like these aren't only showcase of beauty and brains, but also... ewan. basta nakakatawa! bwahaha. lahat seryoso sa pagpalakpak pero kami ng mga kaibigan ko, tawa ng tawa. may mga contestants na mukhang busog, may mga mukhang bagong hasa ang baba, may nagmamadali kasi baka hinihintay ng taxi, at may contestant na parang bold star kasi lahat, mula creative, sportswear, casual, at swimwear ay naka trunks lang... siguro kung may trunks na pang-formal baka may pulmunya na yun. bwahaha. pero walang tatalo sa question and answer portion. madaming magaganda at pogi pero pumalya dahil dito at ang the best talaga ay ito:

Q: what would you rather have? beauty or talent?
A: talent!
Q: good answer. why?
A: uhm... YES!
(ano daw? bwahaha)

pero siempre, nakakatawa din ang mga hosts!

host1: let's give them a big HANDS!
h1: a big THANK to our sponsors...
(i swear, consistent siya! bwahaha. )
host2: tatagalugin ko ang tanong... if you were given a chance(haha. tatagalugin daw?)

ok.. so ano ang point ng kwento? wala naman. nakakatawa lang talaga. hehe. seriously... if we think about it, madali lang naman ang mga tinatanong sa mga pageants. minsan, natatanong din natin ang mga yun sa ating mga sarili... but then again, aren't the easiest questions the hardest to answer? naalala ko dati, natanong ako ng, "are you happy?" hindi ko nasagot. ang hirap. kaya i suggest na imbes na "what is your purpose in life?" ang tanong, mas maganda siguro kung "what is the capital of the Philippines?" nalang ang tanong para pag sinagot ka ng "ang capital po ng Philippines ay letter P!" legal na ang batuhin siya ng kamatis!

photo taken from http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHhOVBtyvj-Gn2Ft_NBRD5FNjPRrp15pqBuaMMpqPpqUD7ufGq

Dec 25, 2010

Christmas: EAT, PRAY, LOVE

Eat
Bandang alas-sais ng gabi nang magsimulang maghanda para sa noche buena ang pamilya... and by that i mean my mom and sister taking care of everything while I do the almost impossible task of waiting for Noche Buena. hehe. after what seemed like eternity, siyempre nilantakan ko rin ang putahe na nakuha ni mama sa internet, and it was nothing short of heaven. ang SARAAAAP. too bad it was time to get ready for church, hindi ko tuloy naubos... este nalasap mabuti ang pagkain. hehe

Pray
as expected, jampacked ang simbahan sa bisperas ng pasko. it feels nice, to be able to say thanks for all the blessings, trials that have made us who we are and to be able to see that there are a lot of things to be thankful for and to look forward to in the years to come. kahit siksikan, ayos pa rin... all for the spirit of Christmas.

Love

pagkatapos ng mass, may 10-minute display pa ng fireworks sa plaza. to say that it was mesmerizing is an understatement. it was magical... made even more special by the people you are seeing it with. all those ooohs and ahhhs were such delight. pag-uwi ng bahay, kainan na ng masarap na handa. it's funny how when i was a kid, i always thought that what made each christmas feast happy was the food we eat... when all that really matters are the people we eat it with. o di ba? mature na talaga ang mokong. hehe.

this day was perfect... too bad i don't have pictures. although i'm not sorry at all. I'd rather have this wonderful memory in my heart than in my camera.

Merry Christmas
you guys... from my family to yours , ' )

Dec 22, 2010

quickpost: thoughts?

enough of the emo posts for now...
it's time for the annual Subol Christmas Caroling event. sa wakas.. mababayaran na rin nila ang utang nila sa akin! bwahaha.

by the way... what do you think of franchising foodcarts? i want to invest the little money that I have para naman yumaman. hehe. thoughts?

to all the bloggers all over the world... Advance merry christmas to you ALL.

Dec 20, 2010

batang inagawan ng candy...

i just got back from my dentist's office. do you remember how some people calls news reporters the "boogeyman with a teleprompter?" well, my dentist is the boogeyman with perfectly white teeth. ayoko ng bumalik dun. para akong nagbabayad ng tao para saktan ako.. kung yun rin lang ang gusto ko, ate ko na ang lalapitan ko! free na, unlimited pa! bwahaha.

speaking of pain... i talked to one of my Kuyas. i felt bad kasi ang tagal na naming di nag-usap tapos masamang bagay pa yung mga nasabi ko sa kanya. andami ko na kasing hinanakit sa kanya... akala ko simpleng tampo lang, hindi pala.

ok... backstory muna para klaro ang istorya... anyone who is close to me knows that my biggest frustration is not having a kuya. naiinggit talaga ako kapag nakakakita ng mga kuyang inaalagaan yung mga kapatid nila, o kahit mga nagaaway nga eh kinaiinggitan ko pa rin. Yung una ko pang iniyakan na eksena sa tv ay yung eksena ni John Lloyd at Diether sa swimming pool. nakakuha ng award nun si john Lloyd pero hindi naappreciate ng parents niya kaya tinapon niya sa pool. si Diet naman na kuya niya, nilangoy yung pool para kunin yung medal tapos sabi niya, "sa akin importante to!" tapos, flashback ng mga eksena nila nung mga bata pa sila. p*kening. iniyakan ko talaga to. sobra akong nainggit.


camera-whore si kuya. nahawa tuloy ako...

Anyway, ayun nga, sobra talaga akong naghanap ng kuya kaya ng makilala ko si Kuya, sobra ko talagang pinahalagahan yung pagkakaibigan namin. Sobrang naging malapit kami to the point na nakikitulog na ako sa kwarto nila para lang mangistorbo at manuod ng mga pelikula. hehe. He was the one who tried to talk me out of joining a fraternity and that intervention was one of the reasons why i tried to back out(this is another story). we've been through a lot kaya it was hard for me nung malapit na ang graduation ni Kuya. we promised to keep in touch pero wala pang isang taon, nakalimot na siya. I remember nung graduation week niya, we were suppose to meet kaso busy siya sa ibang friends niya kaya sabi ko sa graduation ko na lang siya ico-congratulate. dumating yung graduation niya, nagpaiwan pa ako kasi last day ata ng summer classes para lang i-congratulate siya kaso natapos na ang ceremony hindi siya nagtext at nagpakita. habang sakay ako ng van pabalik sa amin, umiiyak ako na parang batang inagawan ng candy... parang t*nga lang.


pag ngumiti, kita ang gilagid!

fast-forward to present day, nag-message siya sa fb. hayun, nangangamusta. i told him everything... my frustrations and disappointments sa kanya. sabi ko na buong buhay ko, parati nalang akong iniiwan ng mga taong malapit sa akin... and each time, it gets a bit more painful than the last time at iyon din ang ginawa niya. at the end of our conversation, sabi niya speechless na siya... sabi ko, "it's ok. you've been speechless since your graduation." ewan ko ba... I should be immuned by now pero hindi ako matauhan. siguro tama rin yung isang kaibigan ko. i expect and give too much kaya parang parati akong lugi. when will I ever learn?
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On a lighter note, sa lahat ng nanalo sa PEBA, congratulations lalo na kay Xprosaic na nanalong most popular blog at kay pareng Jag na naka-vest at siyang tumanggap ng award ni xprosaic. hehe. Advance Merry Christmas to you all...

Dec 15, 2010

what's up?

hey, what's up? it has been over a month since my last post and the reason why i was out for so long was because i needed a break... i didn't want blogging to be an obligation for me because i wanted to keep it the way i have always known it, fun, inspired and unpretentious. And now, i am back and refreshed to continue what i love doing, blogging.

so... how have you been?

Oct 30, 2010

samu't saring kuwento 5: love and hate

I really don't get women. Sometimes, they fight for gender equality, sometimes they want special treatment. For example, whenever i'm on a line for a bus ticket or cafeteria, ladies would sneak in on the line and wouldn't give a damn about it. One time, i have waited an hour in a line and this girl came in front of me and declared, "pasingit ha?" take note, declared! not asked! pinag-isipan ko pa talaga kung ngingitian ko o sasakalin ko eh. maybe i'll do both next time...

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sabi nila, your friends are those who stick with you during your worst.. and that's true. but it's your job as their friend to avoid getting them into sticky situations. i mean, wouldn't it be nice to have them around at your best? kahit minsan lang.. para maiba naman.

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People will always say things about you. Sometimes good. sometimes bad. sometimes made-up. Let them talk. Have pity on those people who have nothing going on for themselves that they have to talk about other people who actually experience life.

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I haven't slept in a week because i finally discovered the link to Boy Meets World. The entire show has 7 seasons, and somehow, i have managed to finish 3 seasons(25 episodes each season) in just seven days. and that's not even the weird part... I cried like five times over this show, and it's comedy! i don't know if it's sleep deprivation or just a clear indication that i am losing it!

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kuya limwell, ako, allan, kuya francis

wala namang istorya sa kanila.. namimiss ko lang talaga tong mga mokong na to. it sucks... the minute you say, "wag kang mag-alala, walang magbabago," the opposite happens. hmmm... i should definitely put this on my to-do list while I'm 21, get these guys together again... kahit kaladkarin ko pa sila. nyahaha.

Oct 27, 2010

breaking free



i'm having butterflies in my stomach again. it happens everytime i have to do something that i really don't want to do, or if i missed a meeting with "doro." haay... it is so easy to be happy, but getting everyone to be happy for you is another thing. i mean, for the first time in a really long time I am finally doing something that is good for me... something that makes sense for the path i want to take. It may look and sound like a crazy decision on my part but i feel like that's what I've been missing all my life. I have been sheltered and protected... even to a point that my life has become "our" life. well guess what, i am taking charge of my life. it may not be my best decision, it may even turn out to be a big mistake... but i know that this is a mistake i have got to commit. whatever the consequences of my actions will be are mine to be responsible for... and if they care for me as much as they say they do, then they would be there for me, cheering me on or giving me comfort. I am tougher and braver than what they give me credit me for. maybe this time, it's not me who needs the help...

i just wish i'm as brave in words as i am in my actions. someday i'll be able to tell them all these and more, but not today... maybe when they don't see me as a helpless little child anymore, or when they grow ears :(

Oct 25, 2010

The brother is APPARENTLY a PIG!

Flattery(webster's dictionary)> insincere or excessive praise.
Flattery(nightcrawler's "made up" dictionary)> is the best cover-up/introduction for an insult.

we may have done it once or twice, may it be for something that is brought about by a good intention or something that is brought about by "politeness." here are some scenarios...

Scenario1> mom is not happy about son's weight gain: "alam mo anak, ang pogi mo... pero mas pogi ka nung payat ka. mag-diet ka nga! ang taba mo na!"

Scenario2> friend worried about lending his jacket to someone: "iyong isa na lang ang hiramin mo... mas bagay yun sayo. mas malaki!"

Scenario3> sister accompanies brother in fitting room: "ang ganda ng kulay, bagay sayo! pero huwag na lang iyan ang bilhin mo, may nakita akong large sa kabila!"

sugar-coating insults don't make them less painful... it actually makes them worst. but thankfully, i'm a dude. this is where boys being trained not to listen finally pays off!
"i'm tubby now, and i like it!" is what i would say if i am that someone but i am not. i'm not. nope. not really. hmpft!


cartoon version of me?

image taken from http://www.comicvine.com/tubby/29-2976/

Oct 20, 2010

samu't saring kuwento 4: may gatas pa sa labi

apat na araw na akong hindi lumalabas ng bahay. it's frustrating, due mostly to the fact na puwede naman akong lumabas kung gugustuhin ko. i feel like a prisoner of my own doing, bilanggo ng katamaran. haay... i have bed soars all over my body, nakakapagod din ang sobrang pahinga. maybe it's the right time to start exercising again.
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i really don't want any of my friends or family to read my blog. It's not because I have something to hide but I feel like this is one part of me that I would rather have as "mine." I know it sounds weird given the fact that this blog is public and is open for anyone with internet connection but my blog serves as a haven where my thoughts are suppose to be exposed without inhibitions and I'm afraid that them knowing about this blog would subconsciously make me filter my writing. Do you have that feeling as well?
______________

i'm finding it hard to complete my list of 21 things to do while i'm 21. I am stuck at number 17. Fudge! it shouldn't be this hard.. can i count "Finish this list" as number 17? will that be considered cheating?
______________

when will moms get it that dinner is not the right time for sermon? sa dinami-dami ng reklamo at hinaing, ang naalala ko lang ay, "tumatanda na rin kayo, paano ka makaka-hanap ng girlfriend kung di ka lumalabas ng bahay?" huwaw... muntik na akong mabilaukan. sige po ma, masunurin naman akong anak eh. pahinging pang-date?! pinapa-migay na kami ni ate? bata pa naman ako ah!? may gatas pa ako sa labi...

ngek... alak na pala nasa labi namin. hehe.

Oct 17, 2010

samu't saring kuwento 3: boy meets world



i want to write but words seem to evade my fingertips right now. i mean there are a lot of things going on about me right now but i'm finding it hard to type it all down and put into words. does it count as writer's block? i don't know but i think i owe it to myself to finish this post and write about something as my reward for staring at this damn monitor for the past three hours now. ok.. where to start?!... uhm... oh, i'm almost done with my list of 21 things to do while i'm 21. it's a lot harder than i thought but if i want to get started early and accomplish all of it in a year, i should put more effort into it. what else?! uhm... i'm kind of in a weird situation with some of my close friends. you see, i was told that sometimes friends forget how to act around each other after they have been apart for so long, and i guess in most cases that's true. but i don't want it to be weird around me and a friend.. i mean, we've been through so much and i don't want to see it all go to waste just because we couldn't get past this. how do you get into the friendship groove again? and i was told that my being close with a lot of people is becoming a problem... i don't know. am i really becoming a friendship slut? is such term really existing? haay... i'm also sad about leaving my friends and my organization. i'm not even sad about leaving the school but leaving them? it's devastating. how weird is it that just a week ago i was in a state of happiness and a week later, devastation? i'm beginning to think that i have multiple personalities, although i hope not.
________________

during my elementary days, even before my obsession with FRIENDS, i was hooked by BOY MEETS WORLD. it is a show about, well... a boy meeting the world! haha. it was a good show and i remember loving the show so much that i was devastated when it ended. i don't care about what others say but i really do believe that it was about me and that my life is patterned after cory matthews' life... i'd meet someone, be head-over-heels in love, have amazing friends and family, and live happily ever after. if only life is that easy... does anyone know if the show is on dvd? if you have the copy, give it to me... i'll give you big bucks!
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matagal na akong di nakakapag-blog hop. i have been so busy this past week na hindi ko na nasusubaybayan ang mga buhay ng mga paborito kong bloggers. after the mass mamaya, i'd spend the whole night reading and back-reading your posts.. i am so much behind already. yung iba pa naman diyan tatlo hanggang limang beses sa isang linggo kung mag-update ng blog nila. ok... i have to get ready now. may date pa kami ni Lord... pasasalamatan ko pa siya for everything sa buhay ko. talk to you in couple of hours , ' )

image taken from http://www.dreamstime.com/puzzled-smiley-icon-image32733

Oct 11, 2010

10-10-10 best. birthday. EVER. so far...


biggest card i have ever received!


funny how i've been able to write a lot about my life for the past 13 months and have a hard time constructing a post for what is possibly the best birthday experience ever... so far. I mean, where do i even begin? will the awesome arm wrestling be a good way to start the story? or probably shooting hoops with my cousins and beating their asses?! maybe, it's the karaoke singing that stood out the most... but I have a soft spot for the lengthy joyride around the city. What about the big surprise/connivance of the three "baboys" who surprised me with a good cake and the biggest letter I have ever received? That was awesome. Just as awesome as the stroll on the beach with some buddies, or eating ice cream on a deserted basketball court in 1 am. and ofcourse, making few bucks for being cute and oh-so-awesome isn't my least favorite as well. haaay... my body aches all over but i don't care because i feel so loved. 10-10-10 has truly been one of the most beautiful days of my life... being able to share it with most of the people i love and cherish. major thanks to God for that wonderful experience, which by the way more than made up for that birthday fiasco a year ago. Salamat talaga. wala nang paglagyan tong saya ko ngayon.

too bad 10-10-10 was the same date for the bloggers' eyeball! darn! I so wanted to meet a lot of my fave blogging idols. haayy... i guess i'll wait for the next one. speaking of fave bloggers, thank you to those who wanted to party with me, although not physically but in spirit.



salamat yanah, xprosaic, superjaid, jag, and drake. da best talaga kayo!

salamat din sa lahat ng bumati sa akin sa cp, fb, twitter, email, comments section, etc. maraming salamat sa words of wisdom at sa mangilan-ngilang pambabalahura! at dahil good mood ako, salamat na rin sa mga nangakong magbibigay ng picture greeting pero di naman nagpadala! hmpft! kidding!

Oct 9, 2010

not growing up?


i'll be 21 tomorrow... am happy and quite confused. is my being 21 mean that i have to be this responsible and mature person? i mean, we live in a world where perception of us means a lot and i just am not confident enough that i'll be able to act the way they want me to. don't get me wrong... in my own universe, i know i am a mature person... in a twisted kind of way. i don't always know what's right from wrong, but i know when to say sorry and when to stand my ground. i am a bit spoiled but i have learned to share my blessings. sometimes i can be emotional but... well, i don't care. haha. i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm not sure if i can be the guy that they all expect me to be, but what i know is that i try my best to be the best guy that i know i can be. you can't pressure a guy, or any person for that matter, to be a certain type at a certain age. all these pressure nonsense about growing up is all crap. so to all of you people who expect men of maturity by 21, sorry for the disappointment. afterall, growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional! or something to that effect...

photo taken from http://www.explodingdog.com/title/growingupisaggoodthingtodo.html

Oct 4, 2010

samu't saring kuwento 2



the thing about mothers is that just when you think they get it, they don't. i mean, she keeps shoving me these self-help books about time management, goal-setting and all that crap about trying to find what's best for me and my future. the thing is i know what i want to do with my life. what i don't know is how to do it with her always breathing down my neck. i know mothers know best but sometimes they get so clueless... i guess it's our job as kids to teach the oldies huh? but in all fairness, she tries. i guess GOD programmed us that way: parents-TALK, kids-WHINE!

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kumain kami kanina sa isang sosyal na restaurant. for the record, it doesn't matter to me where or what we eat, it's who you eat it with that matters... pauso ko lang para kunwari deep! haha. pero di nga... kahit sa jobee lang ayos na ako. anyway, disappointed ako sa lasa ng pagkain. yung sinabawang sotanghon walang lasa saka yung spare ribs parang good for 3 ants lang sa konti. haaay... i swear, for a restaurant that expensive(vat should be inclusive by the way... mga pasaway) i expected a lot better. i could have cooked a more decent meal with half the price. haay.. sabi nga sa kasabihan... walang matabang na nilaga sa patis na maalat! di ko alam kung anong relevance niyan sa istorya, pauso ko lang ulit!

_______________________

something that not a lot of people know about me is that i love to write... and i've been working on this novel for so long pero nahihiya akong ipabasa sa iba. i guess takot akong makarinig ng pangit na salita... you know, everyone's a critic nowadays. kaya i have decided to put it on my to-do list... my 21 things to do while i'm 21. kanina ko lang naisip yan and again, pauso ko lang. at dahil kanina ko lang naisip, lima pa lang ang nasa listahan ko. 1) read all sidney sheldon books 2) reconnect with someone from my past 3) be friends with somebody i don't like 4) let someone read my novel 5) fit into my 32-in waist pants... i still have a week to complete my list and a whole year to accomplish them. wish me luck. how about you? do you have a to-do list for yourself? were you successful?

nga pala, dun sa may pangarap maging professional tv/movie writer, a golden opportunity came up. Jun Lana, famous award-winning writer and youngest Palanca hall of famer is conducting a free writing mentorship for three months. take note, writing mentorship at hindi workshop kasi gusto niyang turuan yung mga taong gustong gawing propesyon ang pagsusulat at hindi hobby lang. for more information on how to join, check out jun lana's blog on junlana.blogspot.com. bilisan niyo rin dahil tatlo lang ang pipiliin niya. if only i had the time, i would join but since i don't, i guess ikakalat ko na lang ang magandang balita. you're welcome guys.
ps. kung sakaling makuha ka at dito mo nalaman ang tungkol sa mentorship, gawin mo akong bida sa pelikula mo ha? o kahit supporting na lang muna... ok? ayos :P



photos taken from http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/d/disagreed.asp; http://www.examiner.com/la-in-los-angeles/jollibee-the-philippine-answer-to-mcdonald-s; http://junlana.blogspot.com/

Sep 28, 2010

taking the leap

it's so hard making decisions, especially when given choices that can alter the course of your future. i mean, how do we even know the best one? isn't it frightening to know that one bad decision can turn the rest of your life into a living hell? of all the useless junks invented each day, why couldn't they come up with a device to help us make the best decisions? wouldn't that be just grand? well, i guess not.because then, we wouldn't have the chance to succeed or lose on our own. at the end of the day, we want ourselves to be credited for something, for anything... may it be for something that we can really be proud of or something that we can learn from. and all of these decisions come from taking the leap. a leap from uncertainty to just knowing, from hesitation to just going for it.

the leap. why is it that my tomorrow seems too far to reach? why am i afraid to take the leap? is it because the leap could as easily be a turn on the wrong direction as it can be on the right one? i guess what most people don't realize, and what i realized just now, is that we have been taking leaps all our lives. it's just a question of where to hop on next. are we going to let our past get the best of our future? or just let it all go and take the leap?


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nga pala, salamat sa lahat ng mga nagpadala na ng picture greetings para sa birthday ko. nakakatouch. sa mga hindi pa nagpapadala, take the leap(maisingit lang?) at magsend na sa jr_2pak@yahoo.com. 10-10-10 is the big day. tandaan, mamalasin ka pag di ka nagpadala... bwahaha.

photo taken from http://www.sparkplugging.com/sparkplug-ceo/taking-the-leap-from-employee-to-entrepreneur/

Sep 22, 2010

pangarap lang


hiling sa bituin

minsan, hindi na natin naaalala kung papaano nabubuo ang mga pangarap natin sa buhay. maaring bata ka palang ay pangarap mo ng maging doktor, piloto, sikat na artista, o kahit na lang maging kamukha ni john lloyd. masarap mangarap lalo na't libre naman, pero doble ang sakit kapag nalaman mong ang pangrap na yon ay hindi mo na maaabot pa. ang mas masakit pa dun, alam mo na ngang hindi na puwede, umaasa ka pa rin. ang mundo na ang nagdedesisyon para sayo pero ayaw mong makinig. ano pang pinagkaiba natin sa pusang naghahabol sa sinulid? habul ng habol sa isang bagay na wala namang importansya/halaga sa buhay nito. maswerte ka na kung magising ka isang araw at mauntog sa katotohanan. "it's just a thread, why do i even want it?"

Hindi lahat ng pangarap ay para sayo. maaring nakalaan ito para sa iba o may mas malaking pangarap na nakalaang matupad para sayo. tulad ko, pangarap ko dati na maging kamukha ni john lloyd. p*kening! ang binigay sa akin yung hairline niya. ayan, malapit nang mapanot! siguro talagang nakatadhana nang maging kamukha ko lang si piolo. haaay :(

photo taken from http://toki88.deviantart.com/art/Munting-Pangarap-27063371

Sep 18, 2010

NO. SLEEP. LIBRARY



3:00 - entered the library to take a quick nap before next class
3:10 - woke up because of the loud noise from the people fixing a table in front of me and found a girl staring intently at me. i'm sleepy. close eyes again...
3:30 - woke up because of the loud noise again. more people are staring now at the noisy people. cute girl is nowhere in sight and i decided to go for one last nap before class.
3:50 - awakened by the noise created by the table being fixed. Gosh. don't they know that loud noises and library don't go together? i stood up, grabbed my bag, and headed for next class.
3:55 - arrived early for class. i took my usual chair in the back and waited patiently. i noticed the "staring girl" from the library is in the same class and is now approaching me... she stared, smiled, and whispered, "buti hindi ka pinagalitan... ang ingay mo kanina eh."

--- i realized that i snore when i sleep, and that those stares were probably for my noise and not the table-fixing guys. aargh... note to self: no more sleeping in the library!
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grabe, napahiya ako dun... you know what would make me feel better? pag nakatanggap ako ng picture greetings mula sa inyo(hindi ako kasing galing sumegue ni idol pagdating dito. hehe). malapit na kaya i-send niyo na lahat sa jr_2pak@yahoo.com... tandaan, 21st birthday ko kaya walang balahuraan! nyahaha. salamat sa mga nagpadala na :P

image taken from http://www.cartoonstock.com/
directory/p/public_library.asp

Sep 13, 2010

a trip down memory lane

nakaka-pagod maglinis ng kuwarto! it took me the whole day para lang magmukhang disente ulit at kaiga-igaya ang kuwartong ito. haay.. atleast hindi na siya mukhang gubat. medyo na-sorpresa nga ako sa dami ng mga gamit at basurang nakatambak sa mga sulok... ngayon napapa-isip ako kung papaano akong nakatagal ng ganito sa kuwartong ito. sobrang linis na ng kuwarto ko, nakaka-panibago. normally, hindi naman talaga ako mahilig mag-linis ng kuwarto.. it's just that i felt like i needed to do this to sink my teeth on the reality that i am moving back in really soon... para hindi na ako mag-dalawang isip! haha.

anyway... hindi lang naman ako basta naglinis. it was actually an interesting experience because it gave me the chance to reminisce about the ancient days. for example, i found these recognition cards and medals that i got when i was a lot younger. wow... nakakatuwa naman. most cheerful. most responsible. most helpful. poetry writing champion. math olympics champion. kung iisa-isahan ko lahat, parang nakakalula. it was great seeing all these achievements from my childhood pero parang napa-isip din ako.. nasaan na kaya yung batang yun? yung batang puno ng abisyon, ng pangarap. masaya kaya siya si kinahinatnan ng buhay niya ngayon? kapag nakaharap ko kaya siya, sasabihin ba niyang "good job?" haayy... ang daming what ifs. i don't know. i'm not sure anymore. that kid is long gone... nothing but a distant memory.


i found my old guitar. naalala ko tuloy when i was in high school. i so wanted a guitar of my own and when my mom finally gave in, i made sure that i had the coolest, most expensive acoustic guitar i could find. i used to love playing this thing. everyday akong nagpa-praktis nuon para lang matugtog yung paborito kung kanta na "more than words." haayyy... it's been a long time. i got so busy na nakalimutan ko ang passion ko sa pagtugtog at pagkanta. nung mahawakan ko ulit ang gitara, i was surprised kasi marunong pa pala ako. tama nga ang sabi nila, para lang daw pag-ba-bike yan na kapag natuto ka na ay hindi mo na makakalimutan kung papaano gawin. so, kung may magrerequest, game ako kahit anong kanta!
ps. leaving on a jetplane, crazy for you, jeepney, at your love na lang ang kaya kung tugtugin ng buo kaya dun lang kayo pumili ok? hahaha.


ang pinakanagustuhan ko sa mga lahat ng mga nahalungkat ko ngayon ay ang mga sulat. yup... i have always loved receiving letters from family and friends at ngayong nabasa ko ulit, parang bumalik ulit yung mga alaala nung natanggap ko yung mga yun. tulad nung isang letter na galing dun sa kaibigan ko. may nakasulat na lyrics ng isang cheesy na kanta at cheesy rin na mensahe. it reminded me na once in my life, i was a mushy kind of guy! haha. too bad konti na lang ang sumusulat ngayon... wait... it gave me an idea. next time na manliligaw ako, idadaan ko sa sulat! haha. i find it romantic, don't you?


hindi ko talaga alam kung saan patungo tong post ko. i'm not thinking very clearly right now... all i know is that i have to capture this feeling that i'm experiencing right now. a sense of comfort, of familiarity, of home. it's been a long time since i have felt this way... i guess all i had to do was clean up my closet, keep the things that made me believe, and throw away the things that made me doubtful. if only life is always this easy...

Sep 10, 2010

reality vs. fantasy



madalas natatanong natin kung bakit tayo dumaranas ng hirap sa buhay. sometimes, it seems unfair na parang lahat ng bigat sa mundo ay nasa balikat mo. you try to walk past all of the hardships but everytime that you do, the world finds a way to knock you down even harder. but you know what? that's ok. because without suffering, there would be no compassion... and all those pains are the things that keep us different from others. it's what makes us human. so everytime you feel more pain than others, that's ok 'cause it only means that you are more human than everyone else.

and one more thing, endings aren't always bad because they serve as beginnings for new opportunities... so new opportunities, here i come , ' )
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nakakatakot yung twist ng story

so far, i have read 6 sidney sheldon books. two of them even gave me an excuse to use my library card. haha. i don't know what these books have on me but everytime i read 'em, i feel like no one could touch me. it's just me and those books. do you have that too? things that hypnotizes and sucks you in... transports you back to those times when the rest of the world didn't matter? for me, i have Archie comics, FRIENDS series, and my books. they take me to a different state of happiness that it makes me wish that i could stay there a bit longer. just a bit... and then I'd wake up and realize that reality is so much better. may internet sa reality eh.


photos taken from http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43326.Tell_Me_Your_Dreams and
http://www.google.com.ph/search?hl=tl&q=world+on+shoulders+pictures&aq
=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

Sep 6, 2010

nightcrawler turns 1


exactly one year ago, pinasok ko ang mundo ng pagba-blog. i wasn't expecting anything really, and if you were with me from the very beginning or masipag kang mag-backread ng mga posts, i'm sure you know that my alter-ego was born out of boredom, angst, insomnia, and a great deal of binge-eating. one year later, well, i'm still writing about all those things... only, now i write out of wanting and not needing. i have always known that i loved writing, but i didn't realize that it can save me from total insanity and destruction that i brought upon myself. for that and so many other things, i thank

God for showing me the light in the darkness and that there is life after "almost" death(i'll have to explain this on another post)
mom, for pushing me to my limits and for the unconditional love and support, sometimes to an amount that i didn't even know was humanly possible.
my sister, for the love and care that you try to hide but comes bursting out instead.
my friends, who wouldn't give up on me and stuck it out with me during the worst time of my life. you guys are for keeps.
at sa mga kaibigan at idol ko sa mundo ng pagba-blog, for keeping me inspired and constantly reminding me how good it feels to write about things that matter to me.

i know it sounds corny but that's who i am... a corny guy with a laptop and internet connection. and i bet you are too... otherwise hindi mo masisikmura ang mga pinagsususulat ko dito. haha.

ps. i just realized na late ng isang araw itong post ko dahil september 5 ang anniversary ng blog ko. haay... nga pala, my 21st birthday is fast approaching. to those who want to celebrate it with me, pwede kayong magpadala ng picture greetings sa jr_2pak@yahoo.com on or before october 9... come on, make me smile on my special day. pretty please? with ice cream on top?
, ' )

Aug 30, 2010

pumapatak nanaman ang ulan...

ilang buwan nang parating umuulan dito sa Baguio. for some reason, hindi naman tinatablan ang aking resistensya ng kahit na anong sakit kaya convinced na talaga akong hiyang ako sa malamig na lugar. ang hindi ko lang gusto sa mga panahong ganito, sobrang nakaka-senti! napapasulat tuloy ako sa likod ng notebook ko. hehe.
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August 6

umuulan na naman sa Baguio. naaasar ako tuwing umuulan dito, bukod kasi sa wala akong payong(andami ko daw pambili ng pagkain pero wala akong pera pambili ng payong?!) ay parati rin kasing nasisira ang mga sapatos ko. naalala ko tuloy nung first year pa lang ako. bago mag-pasukan, bumili ako ng mga mamahalin at orig(take note of mamahalin. hehe) na sapatos para naman maganda ang salubong sa akin ng una kong semestre sa unibersidad. P*kening! hindi pa man tapos ang unang semestre, lumuluwa na at naghihingalo ang mga sapatos ko. haay... sayang ang pera kaya simula nun, madalas na akong mag-tsinelas papuntang schoool, tutal naman ay ok lang ang pumasok nang naka-tsinelas. minsan pa nga, may pumasok na ang suot ay pajama, with matching umuusok na kape at sabog ang buhok ha?!

Teka, bakit nga ba ako naghahalungkat ng ala-ala mula sa baul? Eh kasi naman, nakaka-senti ang ulan! saka wala akong mapuntahang iba dito sa school dahil hiniaram yung id ko(hindi tuloy ako makapasok ng library) at basa naman ang tambayan! ayaw ko namang tumambay sa canteen at baka matukso pa akong lumamon kaya ang ending, hindi ko man ginusto, andito ako sa piling ng una kong minahal. whops, wag kang excited! hindi ex ang tinutukoy ko, kundi ay ang lugar na bumuo sa ilan sa mga maliligayang taon ko sa unibersidad, ang Guidance Councilor's Office. whops! teka lang ulit, hindi ako pasaway kaya ako lagi dun. doon kasi ang tambayan ng grupong sinalihan ko. noong ikalawang taon ko sa kolehiyo, naging parte ako ng Peer Facilitator's group, kung saan naging layunin namin ang tumulong sa mga "bagong salta" sa unibersidad. haay... nakaka-miss. may mga bagay talaga na kahit sobrang mahal mo, kailangan mong pakawalan dahil hindi na kayo makahinga nang magkasama. ganun pa man, mananatili ang mga ala-ala at layuning inukit nito sa aking pagkatao, lalo na ang mga taong minahal ko kasama ng samahan. P*kening! sobrang kadramahan na to! tama na nga, tutal tumigil na rin ang ulan. sabi nga nila, "masarap ang umiyak tuwing umuulan dahil naikukubli ng mga patak ng ulan ang patak ng kalungkutan." dahil tumila na ang ulan, masaya na dapat ulit. dapat...
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i just realized, mas masarap pala ang pasta pag hindi na mainit. yumyum. hehe. saka, ilang araw na lang pala, isang taon na ang aking blog. wow, halos isang taon na pala akong nagba-blog. akala ko hindi na ako aabot ng anim na buwan eh. hehe. any ideas for a blogaversary?(i know, totally corny. but still...)

photo taken from http://member.mibba.com/155542/

Aug 23, 2010

MASAYA


kung kaya ko lang liparin to, gagawin ko

it has been awhile since i poured my emotions in here. ganoon naman kasi talaga ako eh. i don't like talking about problems... gusto ko parating masaya kahit na minsan ay hindi na kaya. i feel like i have caused so much problem and pain to a lot of people na umabot na sa point na i feel so useless and that hiding behind a mask would make it all better, kahit para na lang sa kanila. madalas natatanong ko sa sarili ko kung bakit hinahayaan kong maging ganito ang buhay ko. may patutunguhan pa ba ako? para akong ibong hindi makawala sa hawla. gusto kong lumipad... pero hindi ko alam kung saan. minsan, nakakabaliw na talaga. gusto kong maging malaya sa lahat ng nagpapahirap sa akin ngunit paano? paano ko magagawang kumawala sa mga bagay na nagpapahirap sa akin kung sila din ang mga bagay na nagiging rason ng aking pagkabuhay? nakakatawa hindi ba? nakakatawa...

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Marami tayong taong nakakasalamuha sa araw-araw. Minsan, may mga taong matagal mo ng kasama, matagal mo ng mahal, ngunit hindi mo pa pala lubusang nakikilala. Maaring nakaka-usap mo ang isang tao ngunit hindi kayo nagkaka-intindihan. Nahahawakan mo siya ngunit hindi mo siya maramdaman. nakikita mo siya pero ilusyon lang pala. Kagabi, nakilala ko ng lubusan ang aking ina. ilang taon ang lilipas, makakalimutan natin ang mga eksaktong bagay na sinabi natin sa isa't isa, ngunit hindi ang pakiramdam na sa unang pagkakataon, naintindihan kita. maaming salamat ma... mahal kita.

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sa lahat ng nakakakwentuhan ko dito, salamat sa inyo. Hindi niyo lang alam kung gaano niyo napapagaan ang pakiramdam ko. halos isang taon na rin akong nagkukwento ng mga kadramahan, katakawan, katatawanan, at kung anu-ano pang kuwan tungkol sa buhay ko. salamat sa lahat.
ps. hindi naman ako tumigil sa pagba-blog, nagpahinga lang sandali. demanding ka? P*kening! hehe. joke lang.

Aug 7, 2010

BROmance on a BROdate part 2


heto na ang part 2. umpisa pa lang, binalaan na niya ako na wag ako male-late! nasanay kasi siyang naghihintay ng mga isang oras kapag may lakad kami eh. hehe. buti nga, di ako iniiwan niyan sa mga lakad namin, parati kasi akong late, parating puyat!hehe. at dahil by request, nagising ako ng sobrang aga at siya naman ang na-late! bawian? haha. una sa agenda namin ang manuod ng sine. Kung hindi niyo pa alam, pareho kaming fanatic ng avatar:the legend of aang. iyon dapat ang panunuorin namin kaso sinabi ng girlfriend niya na pangit daw at baka mag-wala lang kami sa sinehan. pakening iyang mnight shyamalan na yan! binaboy nga niya ang last airbender! sobra akong disappointed dahil ilang buwan ko ding hinintay yan. asar talaga. hmpft! kaya ang ending, nanuod na lang kami ng...


Cinco... siyempre dapat support our local movie industry. hehe. taking all into consideration, i think Cinco was an effective horror film. pagdating namin sa sinehan, puno pa rin, to think na pangalawang linggo na yata sa sinehan, at nakakabingi sa sigawan. Most notable iyong kay jodi sta maria. ang galing niya dun. siguro mas maganda yun kung ginawang isang pelikula na lang yung episode niya. may nakakatawa ding eksena dun. sa mga naka-panuod na, natawa din ba kayo dun sa eksena sa first episode na may background song na "hawak kamay?" bwahaha! tawa kami ng tawa. siyempre, hindi ko na masyadong ikukwento ang pelikula dahil galit ako sa mga SPOILERS! hehe. panuorin niyo to.

Anyway, pagkatapos naming manuod ng sine, we indulged ourselves sa sale sa national bookstore. my "brother from another mother" is more into the novelty kind, and as you all know, i like books from albom or sheldon. masarap gumala sa sale, maraming magandang books ang binebenta for as cheap as P99. Ang nabili niya ay collection of horror stories(di naman siya masyadong mahilig sa katatakutan?!). Ako naman, since out of stock ang mga libro ni sidney sheldon, I opted for Joy Fielding's Still Life.


At siyempre, hindi matatapos ang lakwatsa kapag walang tsibugan. Since halata naman na malakas kaming kumain ngayon, pumunta kami sa restaurant na may masarap na oreo smoothie at katakam-takam na clubhouse sandwich. wow talaga, ang sarap ng pagkain... para na kaming bibitayin kinabukasan sa sobrang pag-lamon! nyahaha.


Bago kami matapos kumain, may mga naabutan din kaming batchmates. Nagkataon na meron palang maliit na get-together ang ilan naming mga batchmates nung highschool nang gabing yun. hindi naman talaga kami sobrang close ng mga yun pero dahil mapilit sila, pumunta na rin kami. Isang oras din kami siguro dun bago kami umuwi. medyo awkward kasi di naman talaga sila ang kahalubilo namin nung highschool kaya mabilis na kaming umeskapo. wala ding pictures kasi di nga kami close eh... hehe

medyo late na rin kaming naka-uwi. kahit pagod, masaya pa rin kami kasi kahit na matagal kaming hindi nagkasama, masarap isipin na walang pinagbago ang aming samahan. this is just exactly what i needed, a breather from my ever-stressful, so called life. maraming salamat bro! the best ka talaga!
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alam ko na ang iniisip niyo. I know, I gained some weight! kasalanan yan ng Baguio. parating umuulan kaya masarap kumain. hehe. kailangan nang mag-diet para sa yearbook! pahirapan nanaman to...

poster taken from http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_J6smb7zeulI/
TDKQ0stOJ0I/AAAAAAAAfiQ/PZ4p3xNke_E/s1600/
CINCO-FA-poster.jpg

Aug 4, 2010

Kapag limilipad ang utak...



kahit na gaano ka-studious ang isang estudyante, kung talagang boring ang prof, lilipad at lilipad ang isip mo. hindi naman sa jina-justify ko ang paglipad ng utak ko, pero... parang ganun na nga! haha. heto na nga ang paglipad ng utak ni nightcrawler sa klase ni penguin...
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July 30 2010

Bakit ang boring ng klase ni ma'am? sana naka-hood ako para pwede ako umidlip... kaso baka humilik ako kaya wag na lang. haaay... Ang sarap ng Alo Green tea(grapes flavor ang masarap). Ang baho naman ng katabi ko, parang hindi naligo. Medyo nakaka-distract iyong babae sa harap ko kasi pinaglalaruan niya yung extra fats niya sa likod niya. awkward... teka, bakit mukhang penguin si ma'am? haha. nakakatawa naman tong mga klasmeyts ko. lahat, kunwaring nagbabasa pag nagpapa-recite na si ma'am. hahaha. at marami ang naka-itim ngayon ah. marami ang emo?! naka-red ako ngayon, para POGI! Ang boring talaga, Naglalaro na kami nung seatmate ko na mabahao ng lucky 9. dinadaya ata ako, hindi pa ako nananalo eh. hala! nagngangatngat na ng kuko yung babae sa harap. Every ten minutes, may tumitingin sa relo kung time na. hindi lang pala ako ang bored. Kumakain ako ngayon ng Tapioca na parang walang condensed milk! L*che! Haay salamat at tapos na rin ang klase ni penguin... baka hinahanap na ni batman. hihi.
ps. paglabas ng klasrum, nalaman kong yung sapatos ko pala ang mabaho, naka-apak ng ebaks! yaks!
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haha... malamig na gabi mga parekoy , ' )

Aug 1, 2010

BROmance on a BROdate part 1

Sa lahat ng sumusubaybay sa aking blog, I'm sure na alam niyong medyo problemado ako ngayon. It isn't really just about one thing, but rather mixture of things that i had no control of, wished I could do or didn't have to do. It's just really frustrating and I'm pretty sure i was a few days shy of having a nervous breakdown. And just when all hope is gone, a very good friend of mine FINALLY communicated with me. ok, i should explain. We are really good friends for years now and we were roommates during our first year in college(i eventually had to move out because my school is very far from our pad), but for the past year, our communication "kinda" went off. we were both busy with school work, and both of us were trying to "re-build" ourselves from wrong decisions from the past. we got caught up with all these crazy things which led to our friendship hiatus. fast-forward to a few days ago, when he sent me a message saying thank you for the greeting i sent him during his birthday a week earlier. i was pleasantly surprised! it was like a brother calling you after waking up from a coma. we immediately went to our old ways of talking and we decided to meet up on a weekend(which was yesterday).


kami ay mahilig lumamon!

Anyway,before our meeting, we unexpectedly met up a day earlier. he was visiting his girlfriend of four years, and he decided to call me up to see if i was still in the city so that we can get an early re-acquaintance before our brodate the next day. he is still the same guy that i am brothers with, kind, generous and a little chubby(good thing he doesn't know that I blog. bwahahaha!). Anyway, we got to talking and it was like we have not lost touch at all and I'm pretty sure that all the passengers were annoyed by how talkative and playful we were during the ride. I couldn't think of the last time i had so much fun during a 2-hour ride before. it was awesome and... well, it was just a preview of what was going to happen the next day...
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next post na lang yung second half para masaya!(huh?!) bwahaha. anyway, thanks bro. you always know what to do.

Jul 28, 2010

Fudge!

The more that I do this, the more that I'm convinced it's not meant for me. It breaks my heart, and it will break others'...
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oh fudge! sobrang emo. all black pa ako ngayon. no wonder some of my friends think I'm suicidal. bawal na pala mag-black ngayon? haaay... I'm not suicidal... atleast not yet. fudge!

Jul 24, 2010

Parang Book Review Ata..

Okay, I admit. Kung minsan, nakakatamad magbasa ng readings sa school... Kaya kailangan paminsan-minsan ng break at magbasa naman ng iba. I recently discovered a new favorite author, Sidney Sheldon. Sa sobrang pagka-aliw ko sa libro niya, di na ako naka-kain at nakapag-basa ng matino. hehe. at napasulat pa talaga ako, in English. ganyan ako pag nabibilib, napapa-slang! HWOW! haha
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July 16, 2010

I have always loved reading novels. The ones I love to read are the kind that involves heart-warming or inspirational stories, which is why some of my go-to authors are Mitch Albom and Nicolas Sparks(yup! I am corny like that! Haha.) This very reason made me hesitant to read this book that my friend was trying to make me read. It was by Sidney Sheldon, The Sky is Falling. I was told that it wasn't really my kind of novel but I might find it interesting... And so I did, I gave it a shot and I'm glad I did. I'm not really sure how to describe the book, but it was definitely an experience. It had enough "bite" to keep my heart pounding through the last pages of the book. My heart was POUNDING, over a BOOK?! And the characters and twists are well thought of and well crafted, almost at par with the Bourne series. Needless to say, I was hooked! I was so hooked that I missed dinner and made me forget about exams and deadlines. I am definitely buying myself a copy of the book, and probably more of his other works later.

http://www.squidoo.com/sidney-sheldon
PS. My first anniversary as a blogger and my 21st birthday are fast approaching... it would be nice to receive Sidney Sheldon book/s as gifts. Haha! Demanding?
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Nabasa ko na rin yung prequel nito, yung Best Laid Plans. Astig! parang ang hirap gawan ng pelikula! haha

Jul 17, 2010

Sakit sa ulo


tama bang magpa-tattoo sa batok? at tama bang ballpen ang gamitin? haha

Ayon kay Karl Marx, "individuals should only work for 6 hours and spend the rest of the day to better and glorify them themselves." Bakit kaya hindi siya pinakinggan ng tao? kung iisipin, may point naman siya. madalas, sampung oras o mahigit pa ang ginugugol natin sa pagaaral o trabaho. Pagdating sa bahay, wala nang energy para sa kung anuman at diretso tulog na para simulan ulit ang mahigit sampung oras na trabaho. Kung iisiping mabuti, para saan nga ba ang pagpupursige natin? Hindi ba't para sa mahal mo sa buhay?... na hindi mo na nakakasama dahil lahat ng oras mo ay nasa trabaho. Hindi ba't para sa sarili mo rin?... na hindi man lang makapag-pahinga dahil sa dami ng trabaho. At the end of day, para nga ba kanino ang paghihirap nating ito? Sagutin niyo nga... Sagutin niyo!

-Sagot ng isang batang itago natin sa pangalan na nightcrawler
sa mga kaibigan niya kung bakit mas kailangang magpahinga
kesa maglinis ng bahay! haha.

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pakening! nanakawan nanaman ako ng wallet. Nakita na lang sa tabi na wala nang laman. Asar talaga. Buti na lang nasanay na ako na P500 lang ang maximum na laman ng wallet. Dati kasi, nanakawan na rin ako nang halos P5000 ang laman eh. kaya kayo, mag-ingat ha? mahirap na ang buhay ngayon!

Jul 5, 2010

Hindi rin naka-tiis!

hey guys... what's up? it's been more than two weeks since my last post at talagang nakaka-miss magsulat at magbasa ng mga blogs niyo. Sobra kasing naging hectic ang schedule ko, at kahit ngayon ay medyo busy pa rin talaga ako. Anyway, hindi pa rin naman talaga ako tumigil sa pagsusulat. everytime maka-singit ako ng kaunting oras ay nagsusulat pa rin ako ng mga pangyayari sa buhay ko. heto ang isa sa mga naisulat ko habang naghihintay sa isang klase...
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June 24, 2010

There was a point in my life when i felt like loneliness is synonymous to being alone. Everytime I end up by myself, I question myself, "Am I not a fun person? Am I annoying? Am I not worthy of a companion?" There was a time in highschool when I watched a film in a moviehouse alone. I watched the film POSEIDON, a less budgeted, lamer version of Titanic. I was sitting there, enjoying the crap that is Poseidon, when I realized that I have no one to share this crappiness with. I went home feeling like the seat next to me, Empty.

Years later, I have striven to be active in different activities to keep me busy. I joined a peer facilitator's group, choir, psych group, a regional organization, etc. None the less, I got over my fear of being alone. In fact, I barely have time for myself. Even when I am alone, I know that I'm not because I'm constantly in communication with all my commitments. I used to think that surrounding me with lots of people will keep me out of my fear. It takes moments like this, walking alone in an empty hallway, to appreciate and realize what had been missing all along. I figured that the reason I was unhappy during my younger years is that I wasn't happy with myself. I was always depressed, thinking about things that were way beyond my control and I believed that I can only be happy in the presence of others. I wasn't happy, not until I have learned to accept things as way of life, that I can only control so much of it. Learning all these have made me love myself even more and I have become a more positive person.

Apparently, being an optimistic person attracts the opposite, not that I am complaining, but it made me realize that what they are going through right now was exactly where I was before, lost and unapreciative of his own being. I hope I can help them find what's missing, that certain thing that made me realize that happiness starts from within, and when you radiate happiness, it is one of the best feelings in the world.

Even in an empty hallway, crazy as it may sound, I don't feel alone anymore. In fact, I cherish this moment I have for myself and I enjoy it even more because I know that it will take a while again before I get to do this again. I am alone, but not really. I am happy.
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oh, sorry na... hindi ko kayo nabalaan na nobela nanaman itong post ko. pagbigyan niyo na ako, paminsan-minsan lang naman eh. hehe. Salamat sa lahat ng readers na patuloy na nagbabasa ng blog na to(meron pa ba? haha) at lalo na sa mga hindi nagskip-read diyan, ang tiyaga niyo talaga. hehe. at siyempre, salamat din kay pareng fiel-kun para sa award na to...


salamat parekoy. you're the beast. este, best pala.