a trip down memory lane

nakaka-pagod maglinis ng kuwarto! it took me the whole day para lang magmukhang disente ulit at kaiga-igaya ang kuwartong ito. haay.. atleast hindi na siya mukhang gubat. medyo na-sorpresa nga ako sa dami ng mga gamit at basurang nakatambak sa mga sulok... ngayon napapa-isip ako kung papaano akong nakatagal ng ganito sa kuwartong ito. sobrang linis na ng kuwarto ko, nakaka-panibago. normally, hindi naman talaga ako mahilig mag-linis ng kuwarto.. it's just that i felt like i needed to do this to sink my teeth on the reality that i am moving back in really soon... para hindi na ako mag-dalawang isip! haha.

anyway... hindi lang naman ako basta naglinis. it was actually an interesting experience because it gave me the chance to reminisce about the ancient days. for example, i found these recognition cards and medals that i got when i was a lot younger. wow... nakakatuwa naman. most cheerful. most responsible. most helpful. poetry writing champion. math olympics champion. kung iisa-isahan ko lahat, parang nakakalula. it was great seeing all these achievements from my childhood pero parang napa-isip din ako.. nasaan na kaya yung batang yun? yung batang puno ng abisyon, ng pangarap. masaya kaya siya si kinahinatnan ng buhay niya ngayon? kapag nakaharap ko kaya siya, sasabihin ba niyang "good job?" haayy... ang daming what ifs. i don't know. i'm not sure anymore. that kid is long gone... nothing but a distant memory.


i found my old guitar. naalala ko tuloy when i was in high school. i so wanted a guitar of my own and when my mom finally gave in, i made sure that i had the coolest, most expensive acoustic guitar i could find. i used to love playing this thing. everyday akong nagpa-praktis nuon para lang matugtog yung paborito kung kanta na "more than words." haayyy... it's been a long time. i got so busy na nakalimutan ko ang passion ko sa pagtugtog at pagkanta. nung mahawakan ko ulit ang gitara, i was surprised kasi marunong pa pala ako. tama nga ang sabi nila, para lang daw pag-ba-bike yan na kapag natuto ka na ay hindi mo na makakalimutan kung papaano gawin. so, kung may magrerequest, game ako kahit anong kanta!
ps. leaving on a jetplane, crazy for you, jeepney, at your love na lang ang kaya kung tugtugin ng buo kaya dun lang kayo pumili ok? hahaha.


ang pinakanagustuhan ko sa mga lahat ng mga nahalungkat ko ngayon ay ang mga sulat. yup... i have always loved receiving letters from family and friends at ngayong nabasa ko ulit, parang bumalik ulit yung mga alaala nung natanggap ko yung mga yun. tulad nung isang letter na galing dun sa kaibigan ko. may nakasulat na lyrics ng isang cheesy na kanta at cheesy rin na mensahe. it reminded me na once in my life, i was a mushy kind of guy! haha. too bad konti na lang ang sumusulat ngayon... wait... it gave me an idea. next time na manliligaw ako, idadaan ko sa sulat! haha. i find it romantic, don't you?


hindi ko talaga alam kung saan patungo tong post ko. i'm not thinking very clearly right now... all i know is that i have to capture this feeling that i'm experiencing right now. a sense of comfort, of familiarity, of home. it's been a long time since i have felt this way... i guess all i had to do was clean up my closet, keep the things that made me believe, and throw away the things that made me doubtful. if only life is always this easy...