nightcrawler in jail

bago pa kayo mag-isip ng kung anu-ano diyan, uunahan ko na kayo. hindi ako nagnakaw, pumatay, o nang-rape ng sinuman, hokey? sa maniwala kayo o sa hindi, kusa akong sumuko.. este pumasok ng kulangan. it wasn't easy for me at first, nagdadalawang isip pa nga ako kung tutuloy ako pero pikit-mata akong pumasok sa loob dahil na rin sa hiya ko sa aking uncle na ilang linggo kong kinulit para makasama sa kanyang volunteer work doon. i had to check the place out para malaman kung peaceful at safe ba na magsagawa ng "encounter" doon ang aming org. pagpasok namin ng kulungan, we had to surrender our valuables including our phones and cameras(meaning, no pics). naku, strike 1. kinabahan ako bigla, nagdalawang-isip tuloy akong iwan ang sasakyan. but we had to keep on moving so i shook off all my fears and went on. pagpasok namin sa hall, may mga naghihintay na sa aming mga tao. strike 2. hindi lang sila basta nakatingin kundi nakatitig talaga. lalo tuloy tumagaktak ang pawis ko at nagmukha nang black ang kanina'y gray na damit ko. i've never been so uncomfortable in my life, dahil sa pinaghalong init, kaba, and most especially because i am in an unfamiliar territory. i am pretty sure that i was about to leave when my uncle gave me a glance... a glance that for me meant an assurance of safety. and so i decided to force it through a bit more. the program began with a prayer and i was surprised with how cooperative they were and how much they were into what we have to offer them. then we went on and watched a film called "fireproof."

ok, segue muna ako dun sa film. sobra kasi akong nabanas dun sa asawa nung fireman. it was suppose to be an inspiring film but hell, i wanted them to break up. yung story kasi ay tungkol sa mag-asawang dumadaan sa pagsubok sa kanilang pagsasama, kaso yung babae ay nakikipag-flirt dun sa duktor during the process. haay... needless to say, nagkabalikan yung dalawa sa huli. the story is about rejection, acceptance, and finding a way rebuild relationships...

after the film, i noticed how deeply affected the inmates were and that most of them were crying or at the very least, teary-eyed. then it all dawned on me why. Rejection, Acceptance, and Starting Over... the three things that were either denied from them or they have been experiencing since their capture.. They have been through a lot outside but it never occurred to me how much more difficult it was for them behind prison bars. in an instant, it's as if i was beginning to feel what they were feeling. I mean, if we think about it, we were never really different from them. all of us are prisoners of our own insecurities, fantasies, of our own wrong doings.. and if there is one thing that makes them a lot luckier than us, it would be the fact that they have a chance to start things over, something that is commonly deprived even to the kindest individual. After watching the film, my uncle gave a short lecture on how we should live our lives and giving importance to things that really matter. it was like seeing lives being changed in an instant. they were very appreciative and when we were about to leave, each one of them approached us and gave thanks for giving time to be with them, it wasn't really a big deal but to some it meant the world to them. i guess it wasn't really the film, or the lecture, but i believe it was more for believing in their capacity to change and instilling in them the fact that their is life after all these... we left the jail with smiles on our faces and "kurot" in our hearts.

sa sabado, babalik kami doon to give more help to these people who have been forgotten by most of our fellow kababayans. Hindi ko sinasabing tama ang lahat ng naging desisyon nila sa buhay but i believe that everyone is entitled to a second chance, and another after that, and another after that... who are we to deny a person of a chance to redeem himself, right? and besides, kailangan na rin ng kotse ng cleaning, they give the best free carwash in town! haha. ganun pala dun, free ang carwash pag nagustuhan ka nila :P